As I approach my next birthday, I have been also reflecting on my life, where I've been, where I wanted to be and where I am. Sadly, I'm no where near where I would like to be at this time in my life. Thing just never seemed to work out. Things would be good for a time and then the bottom would fall out and the struggles would begin all over.
I've realized a lot of thing over the last several months while reflecting back and looking at my life now. I realized I'd spent my whole life trying to please everyone, trying to be someone that my mind told me I should be, but knowing I wasn't that person. I realize that because of all the trauma in my childhood ... The sexual abuse, the verbal abuse from my parents, living with alcoholic parents ... I wanted to be someone I wasn't. I never accomplished that.
I am a smart woman, creative, loving, giving, I could go on, but I never had the courage to stand up and say NO to people or things happening that would affect my life. But now, at this age, you would think I could do it. But, nope still can't do it.
So, as I approach this next birthday, I'm making a list of things I want to accomplish in the next year. I may not accomplish all of them, but at the end of the year, I hopefully will be able to say, I TRIED.
Until next time,
This Is My Life
